By LA Weekly
By Henry Rollins
By Weekly Photographers
By Shea Serrano
By Nate "Igor" Smith
By Dan Weiss
By Erica E. Phillips
By Kai Flanders
3. Freestylers featuring Tenor Fly, "B-Boy Stance" Brit unknowns with a Tone-Loc vibe, piled in the Pontiac, cruisin' the projects to the strains of a Kingston toast. The human did the shoulder-bang. The spider drifted to the rhythm. Two escaped ants crawled on a Skinny Puppy CD.
4. Junior Blanks, "All About the Beats" London DJ duo with U.K. Top 40 single. Big, woozy waves of sustained bass throbbing through hesitation breaks; duet vox nicely out of harmony. The human pogoed.
5. Lunatic Calm, "Roll the Dice (Fatboy Slim Vocal Mix)" Classically trained South London duo ambushed by the beat. Drop-dead dropouts that build powerfully to determined returns of dense, glowering hunch dance. The human got the midsection shakes. The spider really danced, then cooled out after big bass relapse. Ants teamed up to push a piece of dirt around. Pill bugs finally got enough, disengaged.
6. 2 Fat Buddhas, "Cut the Music" Labelmates of Freestylers (Freskanova Records). Crackly snares; sequencers; sliding gooshy synths. The human experienced neck spasms and shoulder vibrations. The cat, after being pinned in front of subwoofer, retreated for the duration. Escaped ants tried to get back in their glass.
7. Tipper, "Twister (Dynamic Bass Mix)" From London label Fuel. Surround-sound tribal-beat thing with casement-rattling bass. The human's favorite track; it made him freeze and submerge in dense aural consomme. Spider ditto.
8. Environmental Science, "The Day the Zak Stood Still Pt. 2" Remix specialists (Prodigy, Megadeth, etc.), on their own here. Smooth sequencer tag. Sci-fi hip-hop compelled the human to head-bob. Keen, precise highs tickled his knees and ankles. Creatures indifferent.
9. Surreal Madrid, "Insanity Sauce (Elite Force Mix)" Plucked from U.K.'s Fused and Bruised label. Fast, boosterish rave-beat boogie. The human hulked and skulked rhythmically, shook head involuntarily. The spider executed half-time knee bends as a stray ant circled its prison.
10. Dub Pistols, "Bullets 'n' Beats." Brit trio of performers/remixers. Relentless robot break with space-gun shoot-'em-ups. The human's head and shins rocked in tandem. The ants had all escaped.
Synopsis: Halfway through, the human's primary focus switched from body reaction to auditory concentration. Muscle fatigue? Deliberate strategy of CD sequence? Uncertain. Regardless, he found every track involving. Also, he appreciated the level of abstraction and the absence of song structures - aesthetics that reminded him of '60s jazz. He found the music's emphasis on texture an adequate compensation for its lack of harmonic depth. He felt that this form of expression offered limitless potential for artists who might have been held back by insufficient aptitude for traditional instruments, though he did not think electronic manipulation could replace those skills. And he got all stanky.
The other creatures were returned to their habitats unaffected. The ants' exoskeletons possibly made them resistant to tissue-impinging vibrations. This also applied to the pill bugs, who additionally seem (to an even greater extent than humans) to be isolated from outside influences by their obsession with fuckin'. Best results were observed in the spider, whose fine legs occasionally proved adequate musical receptors. The cat was wrapped up in its own agenda - felines will never assimilate.
Conclusion: This music is primarily for humans. That's okay. We rule.